If

If I were a rich man, it only means I've had a sex change.

If I'm in a scandal, that means my left sandal fell off and I scraped my foot.

If loving you is wrong, where the hell is that exit sign?

If Mountain Oysters are a delicacy, what are the Blue Beauties concealed in a man's jeans considered?

If you could rename a popular name brand item, what would it be?
 I choose Endust and rename it Endless Dusting.

                                 One serious "IF"
If I could save time in a bottle, I would relive the magic of our son Aelias at the age of three months forever. That toothless, gummy grin of his stole my heart.